“Mr Vs Mrs: Call The Mediator”- Family Mediation

“Mr Vs Mrs: Call The Mediator”- family mediation

Recently there has been a television programme airing on BBC 2 following the journey of couples who have been going through the process of family mediation to navigate various issues whether they are financial or relating to children on the breakdown of their relationship.

The programme uses mediators who are members of National Family Mediation, a group that is made up predominantly of non-lawyer mediators who have a therapeutic or social work background.

The first former couple, Peter and Sue, were working out how to split the nearly £1m of assets they shared after their long marriage. Peter was an accountant and Sue was a housewife. This case presented the predicament of how was balance of power to be dealt with between the couple where one party was financially-savvy, and the other one has little experience of working with numbers. In these circumstances it is the mediator’s responsibility to ensure that there is a clear level playing-field for both participants, and that all the assets and the implications of any suggestions made for how to split them are fully understood all round before any provisional agreement is reached.

When people mediate about financial issues, it is usually sensible for them to be encouraged to take legal advice early on in the mediation process, and whenever they feel it necessary during the process.

It is a requirement before issuing most court applications, whether they relate to financial or children issues to attend a first pre- mediation individual meeting (‘MIAM’).

Peter and Sue seemed to be getting towards an agreement without giving any detailed financial disclosure, something that held them up at the end. When we lawyers act as mediators, there is a clear process that involves financial disclosure being agreed as to scope, and given freely, before there is a discussion about options for dividing assets.

Further, we always explain the legal principles that must underpin any settlement, because any settlement must be approved by a court before it can become legally binding, and the court won’t approve something that it does not consider to be within the bounds of fairness. It is possible that the mediator did cover this with Peter and Sue and it fell by the wayside in the editing room as not sexy enough for TV, but the way the process came across in the programme was rather unstructured, and very different from how mediation generally works.

The two former couples who were struggling with co-parenting – Martin and Nicky, and Vicky and Jason – made rather depressing viewing. There seemed to be little focus in the mediation meetings on how these co-parenting difficulties were or might be affecting their children, and how they could both adapt to make things easier for them. Also, there seemed to be no legal context at all in the discussions, which is unusual particularly in such difficult cases where there seems a significant risk of court proceedings.

These were both unfortunately extreme cases, and although they might have been good for TV, it is questionable whether either case was appropriate for mediation at all. Perhaps because of the way the programme was edited, it was difficult again to see any structure to the discussions.

Mediation is hard work. It is tough for those who have separated, and it requires composure, self-control and bravery to make progress. However, mediation can be immensely rewarding. For those who are able to take a businesslike, problem-solving approach to dealing with their former partner, with the right mediator they can save months of time and thousands of pounds, not to mention making a real difference to the quality of life of their children.

If you are looking for further information about family mediation and its benefits or seeking advice alongside the mediation process then please do not hesitate to make contact for some initial advice.

Lindsay Jones Divorce lawyer is a Divorce Solicitor, specialist family law and divorce solicitor in Altrincham, Middlewich, solicitors in Holmes Chapel, solicitors in Sandbach, solicitors in Northwich, solicitors in Winsford Cheshire, Cheshire Divorce Solicitor, divorce solicitors Middlewich, solicitors Holmes Chapel, solicitors Sandbach, solicitors Northwich, solicitors Winsford, solicitor Cheshire, Cheshire Divorce solicitors, Knutsford Divorce Solicitors, Divorce solicitors, Family Solicitors, Middlewich solicitors, Northwich solicitors, Knutsford solicitors, Lindsay Jones Solicitor, celebrity divorce solicitors, divorce and family law solicitors Cheshire, online divorce solicitors, lawyer for divorce, solicitor for divorce.